Monthly Archives: July 2013

i need to get laid

Man, writing isn’t so easy. It took me for fucking ever to type that last post.

And now, officially, if some random person clicks on my blog and takes the time to read all this stuff they will learn that I am not only gay, but a creepy guy who perved out on his friend when he was drunk.

I guess I told the whole story. Nothing happened after that. On Sunday morning when I woke up Jonathan had a pair of boxer shorts on. I guess he got up at some point in the night and put them on. He never said anything about the night before, in fact we didn’t really talk at all that morning at breakfast before I drove back home, so I’m pretty sure he didn’t catch me feeling him up…..

But yeah, I got a new piece of jackoff material to add to my collection.

As you can probably tell, I’m pretty sex starved. I mean, it’s really bad. Lately I’ve been jerking off like two or even three times a day. I watch too much porn. I look at dirty pictures online, and now I don’t even try to mix in straight porn to feel better about it, it’s all dudes now.

Speaking of which… check this guy out. When I see a guy like this….. I can hardly take it!



night at the lake

Got distracted last time and never finished telling about Jonathan at the lake. Maybe I’m a perv for writing all this shit down but oh well, that’s the whole point of this blog.

Usually when I stay at Kelly’s I stay in the guest room, but this time the girls were sleeping there, and Stan was staying in Kelly’s room, so it was me and Jonathan in the basement. There’s a couch that folds out into a bed there, and also a regular couch, but it’s too small to stretch out on. We had one sleeping bag and some blankets, and since I won the coin toss I was gonna sleep on the bed while Jonathan slept on the couch with the sleeping bag….. but that’s not what ended up happening.

I told you we ended up drinking a lot that night because there’s this huge fridge full of booze in the garage. Kelly’s mom told us we could help ourself to the beers but to leave the harder stuff alone. His mom’s too cool. So we were already a little wasted when we went down to the dock to swim, and pretty soon Jonathan and Stan were roughhousing around drunkenly in the water. I joined in and even then I was thinking I could get a chance to touch Jonathan (I told you, I’m a perv). He’d been wearing just his board shorts the whole time we were drinking, and I’d been trying not to get caught checking out his body all night. He’s got a great body and a nice tan. He’s not muscular but he’s toned. The thing I like best about his body is that line on his hips, you know the one that leads down beneath your pants to your pubes and then your dick… Jonathan has a nice line there, and when he twists his torso around it really shows up, and also when he gets out of the water and his shorts are hanging down low…

Anyway, I kept grabbing him and trying to dunk him in the water, in fact me and Stan kind of ganged up on him, which made him angry, and he got up out of the water onto the dock and sat there and drank more beer, his chest was heaving and you could see the muscles in his abs standing out pretty well then.

When he got out of the water I felt guilty and started to swim away because he did seem like seriously angry. I’m afraid that maybe he figured out I wanted to touch him. The beer maybe made me get too carried away and I started worrying about whether I had grabbed him for too long or in the wrong places. I mean I wasn’t going for his crotch or anything but yeah… I don’t think he knew I wanted it. Stan was also being wild. Anyway he was drunk, and probably didn’t notice it too much even if I did do something wrong.

I was kind of worried (maybe I’m paranoid? My brain thinks too much, that’s why I need this blog) so I stayed mostly away from Jonathan for the rest of the night. It was late. Stan was already asleep snoring in front of the TV and Elizabeth had gone up to bed and Trish was flirting with Kelly out on the deck while he was rolling a joint, and I decided it was time for me to go to bed. Kelly started smoking last year and I’m not so into that. He’s told me before that I’m too uptight and it would help me relax. Maybe I’m just a pussy. But he always gets boring as hell when he smokes dope and I knew the night was already over for me. I was tired anyway. So I left them and Jonathan on the deck and went down to the basement and I could still hear Trish’s voice from outside because she’s really loud, and even though I thought I’d fall asleep right away, I couldn’t get settled on the fold out. And then I kept having to get up to piss.

I’d just gotten back in bed from a trip to the can when I heard Jonathan coming downstairs, and you could tell how drunk he was from the way it sounded when he was walking down. The room was pretty bright because of the moon, and I was still totally awake, but I didn’t say anything when he came in, and he didn’t even look at me. Maybe his eyes hadn’t adjusted to the dark. He was still wearing just his board shorts. But instead of going to the couch, he plops in bed next to me…. fuck!

I waited there a minute wondering what to do. I decided to just keep pretending I’m asleep. So I did that, trying to be real natural, and then I pretended to wake up and turn around and notice him for the first time. I said, Uh Jonathan? and I even nudged him but he was already passed out. So I looked under the blanket and guess what? He was totally naked. He took off his board shorts before he got in bed.

I don’t know if a straight guy would have moved to the couch at this point. Maybe a straight guy would have pushed him out of bed, or woken him up and kicked him out. I don’t think a straight guy would sleep with a naked dude, would he? Anyway, I just laid down on my back and pretended to be trying to fall asleep again, but now I was even less sleepy. Maybe gay of me… but whatever, I already admitted that!

Eventually I got too curious and lifted the blankets again. I’d never seen Jonathan naked but now I was seeing everything. It was pretty dark, but I could still make out his cock, it was soft and lying on his hip, pointing toward me. After a few minutes of pretending to be asleep again I nudged him harder, and said his name like three times. The last time really loudly. But he was definitely out cold. Totally wasted. So I pretended to be asleep again, but this time, my arm “accidentally” moved and my hand fell on his thigh. Woops. Then after a minute or two resting there it wasn’t comfortable enough so it moved up and my hand was on his cock. Woops again. Then my fingers squeezed his cock. Still soft, but it felt thick.

I just laid there thinking wow Travis you’re grabbing another guy’s cock… you are a gay pervert!

Then he moved around and I moved my hand away. I stayed on my side of the bed for the rest of the night, but couldn’t fall asleep until I’d jerked off. I did it quietly but I knew he was sleeping next to me and could have woken up at any moment and caught me, but I really couldn’t sleep until I’d done it.


hot friend

So nothing has happened but I guess I’ll just start writing about shit.

This weekend was pretty good. Went out to the lake with some buddies, spent all day Saturday out there, got wasted… Jonathan, Kelly, Stan, Elizabeth, and Trish were there. It’s Kelly’s house. Kelly is a guy by the way. His Mom was there, but she really doesn’t care when we drink, so we had some beers.

Kelly’s mom’s house is awesome and I go there all the time over the summer, since we’ve been friends since we were kids. Kind of weird though since he’s going to college in a month in some faraway boring-ass state in the middle of a corn field. This guy is crazy in a lot of ways. He’s good looking but I can only see him as a friend since we’ve known each other for so long and believe me I know stuff about Kelly that I wish I didn’t know.

With Jonathan it’s different. He’s….. really hot! Man, I cant believe I just wrote that. I def sound like some 13 year old girl now.

But really, I might as well be honest, I think about him when I jack off. Not all the time…. but he’s regular jerkoff material for me. Actually I think I’ve jerked off about him like five times since Saturday. Every time about this thing that happened at the lake that was really hot… I mean, really hot for me anyway… but maybe I’m just weird.

Somehow I got distracted just now, and stopped writing, woops. I’ve been in my room all morning, I should go out, peace

first post

So today is fucking hot and humid and I’m kind of hungover and don’t feel like doing anything but lazing around. I got bored so I decided why not make a blog.

I don’t know how long this is gonna last, but I was thinking about doing it for a while so now I’m doing it.

Anyway, the reason I’ve been thinking about it is because I have a secret that I’ve been keeping for a long time, actually a secret I’ve never told anybody about. And I know what you’re probably thinking, you’re gonna write a blog about some secret thoughts you’re having, like some little girl with her diary, that’s kinda gay.

Well….. that’s the thing…

I kind of am.

I’m gay.

There I said it. Weird. Never told anybody that before… well, I guess I still haven’t, since I only wrote it, but still feels weird to write it and not just think it.

So yeah… I guess this blog will be like some kind of therapy. Because everybody tells you all the time you should let all this stuff out instead of keeping it bottled up.

Feel kinda lame and tired now. I think I’ll take a nap. Later guys