hos before bros?

0011Talked to Kelly for the first time in like a week, on Facebook. I asked him where he’s been and he says he’s been going around with some girl, who I don’t know. So that’s why he’s been so quiet lately. I can see that he saw my last message, but didn’t reply to it.

In other news (really it’s no-news), my dad’s still being a douche. Today he said, first of all, that he doesn’t care about the damage that I did to the clubs (yeah, right), but he was ashamed of the way I’d acted, that it was very “childish” and I need to make an attitude adjustment. Also that just because I’m 18 doesn’t mean I can disrespect his authority, and that I shouldn’t forget that even when I go off to college. I was determined not to get mad again and give him anything else to rip on me for, so I played submissive, like a good boy. Mom was in the room too, reading a magazine, but she never looked up or said anything. Thankfully my brother wasn’t around. Dad said that he was glad everything was clear now, and left the room like a big shot.

After that I went to the park, and ran five miles. I don’t usually run that often, but sometimes I get the urge to do it, and today was one of those days. As I got going, I already felt better. I started to feel like life was changing, and that my life can be something new.

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5 thoughts on “hos before bros?

  1. WARPed

    OK, it’s cool that you run and play tennis…I do too!

    But I guess as long as Dad is paying the bills for you, you are obliged to be somewhat compliant, maybe even grateful.

    Running really clears your mind, yes?

    I can’t really empathize with you, as I never really fought with my Dad, and he died when I was almost exactly your age (talk about your world being turned upside down!)

    So let him be the big shot, and you just love him…ok?

    🙂

    -Andy

    Reply
  2. Jay M.

    Andy is very wise, as always.

    The part about dad and the bills is important. Please don’t cut off your nose to spite your face, no matter how difficult it can be to hold in what you really want to scream. I’ve been there, too, so I know how it can be sometimes. Just getting away to college will soften the edges with him somewhat, and offer you the freedom to be more of who you are, relationships included.

    I used to walk several miles every morning delivering newspapers (after about a week of it, you don’t need to think about it anymore, just roll and throw, roll and throw), then after that, would run because I’d discovered that I needed that time every day to keep my head screwed on straight. Running obviously does that for you. It’s good to have a healthy release.

    Peace ❤
    Jay

    Reply
  3. naturgesetz

    Your account of what your dad said doesn’t have anything that is just plain wrong — as poorly as he might have said it. So, for what it’s worth, you might think about the observation that often it is especially upsetting when we realize, deep down somewhere, that what somebody is telling us is right but we don’t want to hear it. This isn’t just with fathers and sons; it can happen in any sort of situation.

    Reply
  4. naturgesetz

    BTW, you might want to talk about it with your mother, since she heard the conversation.

    Also, good for you for not becoming confrontational.

    Reply

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